This is only a first draft, and it isn’t finished yet, we’ll see how far it will come. I just needed to have it saved somewhere else than on this computer (that my mother keeps telling me is going to get stolen). I’d love some feedback on this story, I know it isn’t finished yet and that can make it hard (doesn’t help that the time is 5 am in the morning here in Greece does it?), but please try if you can. I hope it isn’t too hard! I’ll add an explanation at the end :)
”I’m drowning,” the words stung his heart and his head was bowed as he felt her slipping through her fingers.
“I’ll be here when you come back,” he promised, and she nodded slightly, her eyes screaming out of fear for what they both knew was going to happen.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered, she held on to his hand tighter as her breathing quickened.
“I’m sorry, too,” he whispered back, knowing that anything more than a whisper would pull her further down, making it harder for her to get back up again.
She closed her eyes and he gently wiped the lonely tear that rolled silently down her cheek, but no more tears followed. She opened her eyes again and they were darker, her violet eyes were distant but still focused on his face. He cupped her cheek but she left no time for his comforting words before placing her mouth onto his.
“How much do you want this Greg?” She asked in-between the kisses and he grunted and turned his head away, trying his best not to have eye-contact with her.
He wanted it bad, always had, but he couldn’t. He had always had a hard time holding back, always being dangerously close to letting her have it her way, letting her get any farther than a kiss. When she looked at him it was like she controlled him, she could make him do anything with just one stare, so he tried keeping his eyes closed or focused at some part of the wall. She was stronger than him, in so many ways; she just dealt with it the wrong way. At first it had been an escape from reality, but she had lost all control, it could happen at any time, any place. He knew she would never go after anyone else, only him, but maybe that is what scared him the most, knowing that she had so much faith in him, thinking that he could keep her on the surface.
She placed her hand on his chin and forced him to look at her; he knew he was doomed the second her eyes walked invisible paths over his body, pulling him in for another kiss. He could already feel his body reacting to her touches, feeling the way her tongue massaged his own and how she nibbled softly on his bottom lip. But this wasn’t love, it was lust. To this part of her it didn’t matter if it was love or not, he was sure she would have liked it better without any love at all, but to him it had always been about love. When she was her normal self she always agreed with his point of view, being careful, waiting for the right time and the right place, and actually making love. With this side of her it was all about lust, all about getting off and doing it fast. This part of her just wanted to tell her body that she wanted it, not like all those years ago when a man had forced himself on her, when her body did not want it at all.
“You love me,” she stated, and rubbed his growing erection. Her smile was almost evil, but still her eyes had that hint of calming blue hidden in the mess of violet.
“Which one of you?” He asked, arching up into the touch.
“Both of us,” she breathed out into his mouth, letting the words mingle with his moans. He wasn’t even going to try denying it, over the time he had in fact grown to love them both, but in very different ways. He had fallen in love with the original girl, he just loved that other part of her that drove him crazy and that kept him up at night. Some days he woke feeling like he cheated, and maybe he had. He didn’t need to do anything sexual to cheat, he longed for this fake replica of the one he loved and he was letting her kiss him, letting her pull him a bit further down into the dark water for each day that went by and that was enough to break his heart. He wasn’t kissing his girlfriend, same body and same voice, but different mind and different words.
At first he had been scared, but then she showed him just how different she was when she changed, how she could give him everything he wanted. If he wanted to make love he had that innocent girl who he had first met, and then he had this mystical and sexual goddess who craved him just as much as he craved her. He had always been floating high enough to be able to resist her, just only barely, but now he was sinking faster than before, and he wasn’t stopping it. Her eyes had never shown him an ocean so deep and dark, so lonely and unknown. He locked eyes with the angel in his lap and knew he could never deny her anything. The angel was so misunderstood and hated by herself and her God that she was turning black. Her wings got darker each day, and the water got colder.
He felt her tug on his pants and his eyes quickly rested somewhere else in the room, not being able to look her in the eyes anymore. She pushed his pants down to his hips, and he allowed it. She leaned down and licked up along the shaft, making him choke on his breath and shiver beneath her.
“Do you know that sound?” She asked her eyes forever glued to the erection presenting itself so proudly to her.
He shook his head and gulped.
“That’s the sound of…” her voice seemed to trail off a bit before she smiled as the last word left her lips. “Breaking.”
He knew what she meant; it was the sound of him breaking beneath her control and her breaking her own heart. It was the breaking sound coming from his body as he crumbled under the pressure of the water.
She took his entire length into her mouth, further in than before. Apparently this part of her had no gag-reflect, he thought. She bobbed her head in a steady rhythm, one hand firmly on his hips and the other was fondling his testicles.
He was drowning, cheating and breaking.
She didn’t bite, she just gently, oh so gently, dragged her teeth over the head of his penis, before sucking up all of the pre-come. The way she worked her long tongue had him crying out in pleasure beneath her as he came in her mouth, watching with eager eyes as she swallowed everything he gave her.
“You’re a naughty boy, aren’t you?” She teased, before moving up to kiss his lips, letting him taste himself on her lips. She was right; he was naughty, awful and dirty. So, so naughty. But no more. *
She rose to her feet and left the room, she was floating towards the surface again, her violet eyes warming up to a calming shade of blue. He didn’t want to let her go yet, he wanted to feel her in his arms as she awoke from her comatose, but he had no right now. He had given in, she had counted on him to be strong, to pull her back up from the cold water as it blurred her vision, but that night they had both drowned.
He waited for three long hours, falling asleep somewhere in the middle of the wait, before being woken by a shy knock on his door. He mumbled something, he wasn’t sure what he said himself, but she understood it as “come in”, and in she came. She was already dressed for bed, her straight hair pulled back in a lose ponytail and her face was free for any cosmetics. She moved towards the bed she had been on some hours before. He moved to the side to make room for her as she climbed in next to him and she whispered “sorry” before resting her head on his shoulder.
“I’m the one who should be apologizing.”
“I forgive you, I was the one who pulled you down,” she took his hand and linked their fingers together, looking at their hands with a sad smile painted on her face. “Do you ever wish you could breathe under water?”
“Always have. But right now I think the safest thing would be to buy a life west,” he joked. They both laughed and he realized just how true his words were. He didn’t want to be able to have them both at the same time, if he could pick he would only have her on land. He didn’t want to be pulled under, he wanted her, the real her. This angel in his arms were better than the one who had been on his lap in every single way, this angel’s beauty wasn’t only skin deep, it went even through her bones, down to that secret place in her heart her darker self could never reach. He would do anything he could to stay dry; he would never swim in the deepest end of the pool that was her eyes. He would much rather wake up dry, able to warm her body after the freezing swim than alone, dripping wet and with guilt hanging over him like a shadow.
“Will it ever get better?” She asked, tipping her head up slightly so that she could kiss him.
“Of course it will, you will never forget it but it will only get better,” he said, though he was not so confident. Though her memories of the rape had been fading she kept going further and further down, all the tears she had shed because of him had created an ocean so big she couldn’t help but to get sucked all the way down, and she was getting closer and closer to the bottom for each time she changed.
“You have always been a boat to me, always been with me. You are always close, but sometimes more distant than others, sometimes you let me sit in you and warm in the sun, other times you try to keep me on the inside as the storm sets in. And the times the storm pushes me into the water, and drags me down, you’re waiting for me to float up again, a constant shelter,” she snuggled closer to him, wrapping her entire body around his. “I can always see you; it is like you, the boat, is made out of some sort of glowing light, a light that reaches down into the darkest of places. I can always see you waiting for me, but sometimes you seem more like a dream, sometimes you seem so far away and I think I’ve lost you, but you’re always there in the end. Sometimes when the storm knocks you over as well, like today, you try your best to fight your way out of it, and you make it in the end.”
“No I don’t,” he said, feeling like he had failed her in every sense of the word. She could not trust him anymore, he had violated her trust by giving in to temptation, he had chosen lust over love during a weak moment.
“The only reason I fight to get back up to the surface is so that I can be with you, when you tip over I give in. I just want to be with you, and if being with you is drowning in the cold water then so be it, then I will die drowning, but when you turn around you glow brighter than ever before, and you make me better. You are my home, you are my shelter, you are my everything. Even in the times when I feel alone you are there, you are there when I don’t realize I need to and tell you I need to be alone. You know me better than I know myself, and you love me more than I could ever love myself. I owe you my life, and if suffocating and breaking, coughing as water fills my burning lungs, will keep me close to you, then that is how it will be.”
* Will put more there
Okay so this is about a rape-victim. She has moved on for the most part, she got a boyfriend and she loves him, and as you can tell he loves her back. She got a split personality though, and it started after the rape. At first she looked at it as an escape and she welcomed the feeling, now she is running away from it. The guy is in love with his girlfriend, but has found himself falling for the other part of her, but after giving in to the temptation he realizes that the other side of her is not worth it, he will not risk his relationship for lust.
So... yeah... This is what I do when I'm bored in Greece, please shoot me.
